Frustration

when you're frustrated with a situation over which you have limited control, how do you try to get a handle on your frustration? are there any tips or tricks you've learned that are helpful?

lately, i've been increasingly frustrated w/ something in my life and that frustration is way out of proportion to the situation that sparked it. it's taken on a life of its very own and i've been finding that very fact frustrating, although i think i'm slowly getting a handle on it now.

most techniques i use, such as focusing on someone else's problems or trying to keep things in perspective are at best temporary. they provide a respite, a break.

i know it's tempting to say "fix the source of your frustration" but it's not that easy, you see: it's something over which i have at best limited influence. my previous attempts to fix it have, shall we say, not yielded the most satisfactory results.

so given that my influence over the matter is so limited, what tips or tricks can i try that i haven't already? i'm increasingly finding my frustration seeping out in ways that are extremely unusual and that's simply not acceptable.

as i matured..

As I mature I have realized:

* Communication must be made face to face whenever possible. SMS, IM, email can never convey emotion, no matter how many smileys and emoticons you put.

* Never waste your time over people who don't have time for you.

* Face your fears. It just takes one fear; once you're over it... you can face them all.

the beauty of samurai sword

" The samurai Sword is a thing of beauty, its blade unsurpassed by any other sword. Those that wield it have earned un-paralleled respect and honour. In times of our greatest difficulty, we look for the sharpest edge to end our pain and suffering, however like that sword, it is through the heat and fire and years of being beaten that the finest swords in the world are made. If you remember, when you feel that there is no hope, if you only wish for the end to take you, remember that you are the samurai sword and nothing can stop you after you get through this."


It is a quote to help in times when you feel there is no hope. It is there to remind you that when all is done, you are an unstoppable blade.

are you real or just pretend?

Do you ever stop to look at your life and yourself, and realize that most of the people around you don't really know you? Not the real you, anyway. They just know what you want them to know. We all go through life playing roles and acting out the parts we want to perform for the world. But very rarely is that the real us. It's just a small part of a much bigger picture.

Why do we keep those other parts hidden? Is it because we're afraid no one else will understand them? Or that no one would like us anymore if they knew? Or do we just assume that no one really wants to know the whole story, so we just give them the pretty parts? It is easier that way. And in the end, not many people really want to know more than that.

It's like when someone comes up to you and asks you, "how are you doing?" What do you usually say? You usually say you're fine, don't you? Your life might be a ball of crap, but if someone asks you how you are, you say you're fine. It's simpler that way. And it's what they expect to hear too. Think about what things would be like if everyone actually told the truth every time someone asked them that question? I'm betting no one would ever bother to ask again.

So we all go through life pretending we're fine. It's simply polite to do so. That's how we're conditioned to be. But what happens when someone comes along and they actually want to know the truth? They don't want to see the person you play on the TV screen of life. They want to see the real you. That can be scary. Because you've been playing the role for so long, you can't remember who that person is. And you don't remember what it's like to stop being polite and start acting real either.

But if you don't remember these things, no one will ever really know you. And even if it's your own fault, it can sometimes feel lonely to realize that. Because you know that if you were to ever let someone see who you were, you run the risk of them not liking that person. You already know they like the person you've shown them so far. Isn't it like false advertising if that person turns out to be only a small preview of the real thing? Will they want their money back when the show doesn't live up to expectations?

Previews are almost always better than the movie itself. The previews show you all the good jokes and make you laugh, and you just know if you pay full price and see the movie, you'll laugh even harder. But then you buy the ticket, and the show plays out, and you realize that the rest of it sucked. You were better off never seeing it because it was nothing at all like you thought it would be.

That's kind of how people can be too. I guess that's why most of us live our lives only showing the world our previews. But I guess sometimes it's good to let someone into the theater to see the rest of the story. It's not always easy to do that. I've never been very good at doing that. But I'm trying to change.

In your life, how good are you at showing people the real you? Do you only show them previews? Is there anyone who has seen the whole story? And if they did, did they walk out of theater shaking their heads saying, "I don't get it...." or "I want a refund...." Or were they pleasantly surprised with how the story played out?

" If you don't jump, you'll never fly."

I said this while talking to a friend. She was a making a decision and she did not know which option to choose. I pointed out one option she could use. She told me it was too risky. Then I told her, "If you don't jump, you'll never fly." What I mean is that if we never take chances, we won't know what we are able to gain and we won't benefit from what we are able to do. Be smart, but be decisive. Don't be risky, but take risks.