Its true i guess,life is what it is
There are times where you have to make choices and decisions,and there are times when these same choices and decisions are made for you,and you simply have to live with the consequences of it all.
As hard and difficult as it may be.
I feel right now like i am living my life from day to day,based on the choices and actions of others - it feels like i am no longer in control of my own destiny anymore.
The surprising thing for me,is that i dont actually really think I give a shit any more.Has my resilience and stubbornness not been tested enough in the last 2 months?
Doesnt look like it.
But you know what?
I have reached the end of it.
I have reached the end of my rope to the extent where i am now prepared to say
Fuck this shit - i want out.
Out sounds like a good place to go,at least that way,i will be one less person in the way...
Saturday, October 3, 2009
have i been thinking too much again?
Well,after having spent a very large number of hours trying to figure out the reason for life,and the reason why we are here to live it the way that we do –some say we don’t have a purpose – I tend to disagree – I think we are all here for a reason,but it is in our final years that we only realise what that purpose really is,and of course by the stage it is already far too late to be able to fix anything good or bad – one would have already made one’s mistakes – lived with the consequences – or possibly had enough time to right the wrongs of others……..
…….i often find that when it comes to the issue of taking a time out – that everyone needs a break – its not just a case of taking a break,but what it is that you chose to do on the break that actually counts,and makes a difference.Are you doing something that is beneficial to you perhaps?,or are you just doing it because your body has told your brain that its had enough.After all,the body isn’t the only thing that makes up who we are – we are mind,body and soul – I don’t think we would really be able to exist otherwise – after all – your body is just a suit of clothing that you were given when you entered this world.Your soul was but a rain drop on an ocean at that point,and your mind was yet to be developed to the extent where you are free to be able to let you make your own decisions.
or have i been thinking too much again?
…….i often find that when it comes to the issue of taking a time out – that everyone needs a break – its not just a case of taking a break,but what it is that you chose to do on the break that actually counts,and makes a difference.Are you doing something that is beneficial to you perhaps?,or are you just doing it because your body has told your brain that its had enough.After all,the body isn’t the only thing that makes up who we are – we are mind,body and soul – I don’t think we would really be able to exist otherwise – after all – your body is just a suit of clothing that you were given when you entered this world.Your soul was but a rain drop on an ocean at that point,and your mind was yet to be developed to the extent where you are free to be able to let you make your own decisions.
or have i been thinking too much again?
Friday, October 2, 2009
do you believe in soulmates
Do you believe in soulmates? In 'the love of your life'? One person thats destined to fit better with you than anyone else? Or more than one soulmates?
I've been asking this question to a lot of people and getting a lot of different answers.
I've always believed.. or wanted to believe.. that there is such a thing as the one great love of one's life. Maybe its destiny or souls or something else.. but there is one person out there for whom you will feel a kind of love that sinks in and never leaves.. selfless even. I've believed that this love is not dependent on chemistry or biology or physics.. its all transcending. The one person that will always be a part of you no matter what you do and where you go. The kind of love that becomes your reason to smile.. your purpose.. a sweet pain.
I thought this was a fairly simple concept.. I thought it was quite universal too. Then I asked my fren a simple question, 'Do you believe in soulmates?'.. and he said 'No! How can you?'. I was a little surprised.
His thoughts were that love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain.. it happens when we see a person that our bodies amd minds recognise as a suitable mate and then you get attached to the person and its as simple as that.
How does that explain the longing in one's heart.. the times when you think of your love and the call you the very same instant.. the fact that you can never really get them out of your head.. it seems like too small an explanation for such a big phenomenon!
So I asked other people.. my curiosity having been aroused.. some said yes, some said no, some said they dont believe in love at all.. but I didnt find any compelling reason or proof to believe either yes or no.
One person told me that love may be caused by chemical reactions in the brain, but then how is there just one person that can make the chemicals go that wild? It must be more than just that.
I think as of now I'm agreeing with him.. if its just chemistry, evey person should give you the same kind of high. Just like if you drink alcohol, it will always give you a high no matter what kind it is.. thats chemistry.. but love is so not like that. You cant make yourself really lurrrve someone if you try and similarly theres always the one person you cant forget if you try. So it is chemistry yes, but more than that. I think theres something inside us that recognises another person as a love higher than all others.. something we see in that person that make our brain chemicals induce a love like no other.
I've heard of the theory that soulmates are two parts of the same soul and they see that in each other.. I'm a little sceptic of that.. I'm still questioning the soul/ spirit theory a little bit.. I dont disbelieve it but I still want to be convinced more.
So that brings me back to the question I've been asking all along.. what do you think of this? Is love just an animal instinct.. chemicals and nothing more? Is there destiny/ soul involved in this? Or something else.. something special? Or is love bullshit and I'm just too naive to see it? What are your reasons for believing what you do, if any?
Love makes the world go round.. or so they say.
I've been asking this question to a lot of people and getting a lot of different answers.
I've always believed.. or wanted to believe.. that there is such a thing as the one great love of one's life. Maybe its destiny or souls or something else.. but there is one person out there for whom you will feel a kind of love that sinks in and never leaves.. selfless even. I've believed that this love is not dependent on chemistry or biology or physics.. its all transcending. The one person that will always be a part of you no matter what you do and where you go. The kind of love that becomes your reason to smile.. your purpose.. a sweet pain.
I thought this was a fairly simple concept.. I thought it was quite universal too. Then I asked my fren a simple question, 'Do you believe in soulmates?'.. and he said 'No! How can you?'. I was a little surprised.
His thoughts were that love is nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain.. it happens when we see a person that our bodies amd minds recognise as a suitable mate and then you get attached to the person and its as simple as that.
How does that explain the longing in one's heart.. the times when you think of your love and the call you the very same instant.. the fact that you can never really get them out of your head.. it seems like too small an explanation for such a big phenomenon!
So I asked other people.. my curiosity having been aroused.. some said yes, some said no, some said they dont believe in love at all.. but I didnt find any compelling reason or proof to believe either yes or no.
One person told me that love may be caused by chemical reactions in the brain, but then how is there just one person that can make the chemicals go that wild? It must be more than just that.
I think as of now I'm agreeing with him.. if its just chemistry, evey person should give you the same kind of high. Just like if you drink alcohol, it will always give you a high no matter what kind it is.. thats chemistry.. but love is so not like that. You cant make yourself really lurrrve someone if you try and similarly theres always the one person you cant forget if you try. So it is chemistry yes, but more than that. I think theres something inside us that recognises another person as a love higher than all others.. something we see in that person that make our brain chemicals induce a love like no other.
I've heard of the theory that soulmates are two parts of the same soul and they see that in each other.. I'm a little sceptic of that.. I'm still questioning the soul/ spirit theory a little bit.. I dont disbelieve it but I still want to be convinced more.
So that brings me back to the question I've been asking all along.. what do you think of this? Is love just an animal instinct.. chemicals and nothing more? Is there destiny/ soul involved in this? Or something else.. something special? Or is love bullshit and I'm just too naive to see it? What are your reasons for believing what you do, if any?
Love makes the world go round.. or so they say.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
perhaps i expect too much
I am one of those people that others come to for advice. I'm a good listener. I pay attention. I empathize. I'm there when the chips are down. I'm a good friend because I want to be.
There are times when I need someone to listen to me. But, I seem to have surrounded myself with people who keep their minds narrowly focused on their own lives. When I try to speak of what is hurting me, the subject gets changed or I'm told I shouldn't feel that way. So, I swallow hard and tamp it a little farther down into my soul. I get the message loud and clear. My problems don't mean much to my so called friends.
I brushed off the comment with something humorous. That's how I cope. It's better to laugh than cry. The crying can be done in private.
It's so overwhelming when I see people feel so sorry for me but don't offer their friendship. Perhaps I expect too much.
There are times when I need someone to listen to me. But, I seem to have surrounded myself with people who keep their minds narrowly focused on their own lives. When I try to speak of what is hurting me, the subject gets changed or I'm told I shouldn't feel that way. So, I swallow hard and tamp it a little farther down into my soul. I get the message loud and clear. My problems don't mean much to my so called friends.
I brushed off the comment with something humorous. That's how I cope. It's better to laugh than cry. The crying can be done in private.
It's so overwhelming when I see people feel so sorry for me but don't offer their friendship. Perhaps I expect too much.
get up and punch again?
i could feel the pain when i type. it's tolerable but i could still the pain...
that's what my life is going on right now. i feel pain but i could still tolerate it...
i'm on the right direction to my goal but like everything that happens to my life there's always something to stop me to reach that goal and today i just had those days where i want to give up about it.
i know this may just sound a useless rant but i'm doing something big in my life right now. a decision i made that i know will forever change my life.
it just sucks that it's not going the way i wanted to. there might be even a chance that this decision will not happen... so what's point of doing it? i keep asking that question today...
because i'm doing this for me...this is for my own personal happiness...
that's why i'm doing it...if there's one thing i'm learning through this is that if you want to be happy, then you have to work for it. you don't need others to make that decision for you. you don't need others to make that happiness a reality.
and now i'm working hard for it...
i just wish i was given an opportunity to make this decision a reality...
but someone told me. hey you're not special...so don't expect everything to be easy...
i'm not...but i know i will be...by working hard to get what i want. by working hard to make my dreams a reality....and then i know that i am special...because i did it on my own...today, life keeps knockin me down...too bad i always get up and punch again... :-)WISH ME LUCK!
that's what my life is going on right now. i feel pain but i could still tolerate it...
i'm on the right direction to my goal but like everything that happens to my life there's always something to stop me to reach that goal and today i just had those days where i want to give up about it.
i know this may just sound a useless rant but i'm doing something big in my life right now. a decision i made that i know will forever change my life.
it just sucks that it's not going the way i wanted to. there might be even a chance that this decision will not happen... so what's point of doing it? i keep asking that question today...
because i'm doing this for me...this is for my own personal happiness...
that's why i'm doing it...if there's one thing i'm learning through this is that if you want to be happy, then you have to work for it. you don't need others to make that decision for you. you don't need others to make that happiness a reality.
and now i'm working hard for it...
i just wish i was given an opportunity to make this decision a reality...
but someone told me. hey you're not special...so don't expect everything to be easy...
i'm not...but i know i will be...by working hard to get what i want. by working hard to make my dreams a reality....and then i know that i am special...because i did it on my own...today, life keeps knockin me down...too bad i always get up and punch again... :-)WISH ME LUCK!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
HE??
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, that's her...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
my head hurts
There are too many things going on for my poor brain to cope with right now. I keep forgetting things I am meant to do. I keep forgetting things I am meant to buy. I keep forgetting things that I need for work.
I am a bit like a sieve with things escaping over the edge.
I staved off one migraine this week with timely medication but my head now is thump, thump, thumping away and it just plain hurts!
;-(
I am a bit like a sieve with things escaping over the edge.
I staved off one migraine this week with timely medication but my head now is thump, thump, thumping away and it just plain hurts!
;-(
stress and life
Its funny how when stress comes knocking a person can forget everything! Or worse yet, when stress comes knocking a person can risk everything that is important to them. I know that stress is a normal part of life, for whatever reason, stress is there entwined in our lives like lovers that can't get enough of each other. We turn around and it is there. We try and hide from it by whatever means we can find, but at the end of the day, stress is waiting for us.
I have no clue what roll it plays in our lives or in the grand scheme of things - I don't know maybe if stress didn't exist our reality and existance would cease being. Either way though, there are times I can do without it, like I'm sure so many people can too. It wreaks havoc on our health, in our lives, and in our relationships. Hell, I'm smoking more than I should and can sleep for hours if I could get away with it. There are days I look out the window and just rather go back to bed. Yeah, I hate stress.....Hmm, wonder if there is some magical way of getting rid of it....Say like assasins?
I have no clue what roll it plays in our lives or in the grand scheme of things - I don't know maybe if stress didn't exist our reality and existance would cease being. Either way though, there are times I can do without it, like I'm sure so many people can too. It wreaks havoc on our health, in our lives, and in our relationships. Hell, I'm smoking more than I should and can sleep for hours if I could get away with it. There are days I look out the window and just rather go back to bed. Yeah, I hate stress.....Hmm, wonder if there is some magical way of getting rid of it....Say like assasins?
update's on my resolution 2009 ( I have no idea)
well, its been long time didnt write,,hmm with the same reason like before, i was so busy with my routine life with work , work , work and study..
anyhow, nothing much to share but just want to update my resolution 2009...
*No smoking and no Liquors. ( Compulsory)-in progress....(not yet to be honest)
*Take medication on time…INr under target (2.5-3.5)-yeah ON and OFF but mostly under the target.
*Sleep Less with the exception of tired ( 7-8 hours)-na...i sleep 3 or 4 yrs a day....everday...!!
*Eat more, to put up more weight ( target 3-4kg)- show bit of progress, i gain 2kg
*Study study study. No more fail ( target 2.8-3.2)- oyea i pass all my peper last sem...
*Keep develop on career (upgrading)- yeah Ive been transferred to regional office
*Stand up for myself more! ( Speak Up more Ideas/opinion)- yeah i did that almost 70%
*Possibly I should write more blogs?? (3-4 times a week)-aww...i write 1 or 2 times a month...duii
*Constantly think positive and never simply piss-off ( stay cool)- on progress 50%
*Savings ( Less Shopping)-erm,...15%
*Expend more superiority time with parents. ( More Dinner at home)- well, only when im back to KK (my homey)-at least 1 or 2 times a week.
* Relationship? (No comment)- yet no comment
New year resolutions doesn’t really have to control over our lives, these are just statements w/c motivates us to change our self and be a better person. And it will feel really good once we have done our resolution. Although I haven’t done mine, its still in process.
anyhow, nothing much to share but just want to update my resolution 2009...
*No smoking and no Liquors. ( Compulsory)-in progress....(not yet to be honest)
*Take medication on time…INr under target (2.5-3.5)-yeah ON and OFF but mostly under the target.
*Sleep Less with the exception of tired ( 7-8 hours)-na...i sleep 3 or 4 yrs a day....everday...!!
*Eat more, to put up more weight ( target 3-4kg)- show bit of progress, i gain 2kg
*Study study study. No more fail ( target 2.8-3.2)- oyea i pass all my peper last sem...
*Keep develop on career (upgrading)- yeah Ive been transferred to regional office
*Stand up for myself more! ( Speak Up more Ideas/opinion)- yeah i did that almost 70%
*Possibly I should write more blogs?? (3-4 times a week)-aww...i write 1 or 2 times a month...duii
*Constantly think positive and never simply piss-off ( stay cool)- on progress 50%
*Savings ( Less Shopping)-erm,...15%
*Expend more superiority time with parents. ( More Dinner at home)- well, only when im back to KK (my homey)-at least 1 or 2 times a week.
* Relationship? (No comment)- yet no comment
New year resolutions doesn’t really have to control over our lives, these are just statements w/c motivates us to change our self and be a better person. And it will feel really good once we have done our resolution. Although I haven’t done mine, its still in process.
Monday, May 18, 2009
SomeOne Has dedicate this song to ME..
Well, i heard this song before played in the Fm but not until someone was dedicated to me then i figured it out this song is quite awesome,espeacially when it comes to the lyric, its quite meaningful..!! but overall, kinda lurve this song...this could be my favorite song of the month....maybe it could be yours too....ENJOY!!!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
update's
haven't write any lately, was still busy to adjust my life which just about to begin...so many thing happened in this pass few month. which really giving a big impact to me,but dun worry, i still can handle it!! 1 thing for sure, i keep myself busy not just because im avoiding certain part of my life but only trying to forget what the pass that brings me to be me right now.. im not regrets but thanks GOd, it makes me be a stronger person as i aspect i can be!!
well, here some update's bout me..
-i transferred to Beaufort Region since early april with assisted by VAlyee. untill when? i also dun know....untill further notice. Ever since that, i have spend more than 15 hours of my daily life working and working..
- i just finish my Exam last month which end of April, expecting dat i can pass with all four subjects ( Geotechnic, visual basic, statistic eng, MnE)even though i study and struggling on my 1 week annual leave for last minutes.
-Normally i will be around beaufort on Tuesday till friday, the rest i will be in kk.
-Most of the weekend im spending my times with my frens watch movie, yum char, lunch and dinner..and most important went out for bergembira and karaokeingn( to pay back all my stressfulness after working like a robot) 0.o
- i also still need to manage my time with my parents as well.normally on sunday!
-Ym & facebook is my networks to my dear friends..u can buzz me up there.and will be reply wenever im around.
-i got my letter from my boss,,,hehehehe revised salary,,, finally i got wat i expected in 5 yrs working in the company..amount ?? well let it be me only to know...but its enof to make me smiling!!oyeahhh
- In health wise, im still check up every once a month.... dun worry im OK!!
- In relationship, well no Comment!!
Well thats all for now..!! whatever happen to me ... i will always believe everything that happen to me in this life has its own purpose to learn and to be more appreciate and to be more stronger then yesterday!!
see u Guys...!! lot of hugs for u!!
well, here some update's bout me..
-i transferred to Beaufort Region since early april with assisted by VAlyee. untill when? i also dun know....untill further notice. Ever since that, i have spend more than 15 hours of my daily life working and working..
- i just finish my Exam last month which end of April, expecting dat i can pass with all four subjects ( Geotechnic, visual basic, statistic eng, MnE)even though i study and struggling on my 1 week annual leave for last minutes.
-Normally i will be around beaufort on Tuesday till friday, the rest i will be in kk.
-Most of the weekend im spending my times with my frens watch movie, yum char, lunch and dinner..and most important went out for bergembira and karaokeingn( to pay back all my stressfulness after working like a robot) 0.o
- i also still need to manage my time with my parents as well.normally on sunday!
-Ym & facebook is my networks to my dear friends..u can buzz me up there.and will be reply wenever im around.
-i got my letter from my boss,,,hehehehe revised salary,,, finally i got wat i expected in 5 yrs working in the company..amount ?? well let it be me only to know...but its enof to make me smiling!!oyeahhh
- In health wise, im still check up every once a month.... dun worry im OK!!
- In relationship, well no Comment!!
Well thats all for now..!! whatever happen to me ... i will always believe everything that happen to me in this life has its own purpose to learn and to be more appreciate and to be more stronger then yesterday!!
see u Guys...!! lot of hugs for u!!
Friday, April 10, 2009
im stress
I don intent to be perfect because I know nobody perfect…but I do my best as long as my
mental and my body afford to give the best and most of all I will never give up….aja aja fighting!!
mental and my body afford to give the best and most of all I will never give up….aja aja fighting!!
Friday, March 27, 2009
when i lie awake at midnight
Well,after having spent a very large number of hours trying to figure out the reason for life,and the reason why we are here to live it the way that we do –some say we don’t have a purpose – I tend to disagree – I think we are all here for a reason,but it is in our final years that we only realise what that purpose really is,and of course by the stage it is already far too late to be able to fix anything good or bad – one would have already made one’s mistakes – lived with the consequences – or possibly had enough time to right the wrongs of others……..
…….i often find that when it comes to the issue of taking a time out – that everyone needs a break – its not just a case of taking a break,but what it is that you chose to do on the break that actually counts,and makes a difference.Are you doing something that is beneficial to you perhaps?,or are you just doing it because your body has told your brain that its had enough.After all,the body isn’t the only thing that makes up who we are – we are mind,body and soul – I don’t think we would really be able to exist otherwise – after all – your body is just a suit of clothing that you were given when you entered this world.Your soul was but a rain drop on an ocean at that point,and your mind was yet to be developed to the extent where you are free to be able to let you make your own decisions.
or have i been thinking too much again?
…….i often find that when it comes to the issue of taking a time out – that everyone needs a break – its not just a case of taking a break,but what it is that you chose to do on the break that actually counts,and makes a difference.Are you doing something that is beneficial to you perhaps?,or are you just doing it because your body has told your brain that its had enough.After all,the body isn’t the only thing that makes up who we are – we are mind,body and soul – I don’t think we would really be able to exist otherwise – after all – your body is just a suit of clothing that you were given when you entered this world.Your soul was but a rain drop on an ocean at that point,and your mind was yet to be developed to the extent where you are free to be able to let you make your own decisions.
or have i been thinking too much again?
when you really love someone..
is this the definition of love??
I'm a woman, lord knows it's hard
I need a real man to give me what I need
Sweet attention, love and tenderness
When it's real it's unconditional, I'm telling y'all
Cause a man, just ain't a man,
If he aint' man enough
To love you when you're right,
Love you when you're wrong
Love you when you're weak,
Love you when you're strong
Take you higher
When the world got you feelin low.
He's given you his last, cuz he's thinking of you first
Given comfort when you're thinking that you're hurt
That's what's done when you really love someone
I'm telling y'all, I'm telling y'all.
Cause you're a real man and lord knows it's hard
Sometimes you just need a woman's touch
Sweet affection, love and support
When it's real, it's unconditional, I'm telling y'all
Sometimes you gonna argue
Sometimes you gonna fight
Sometimes it's gonna feel like it will never be right
But something so strong, keeps you holdin on
It don't make sense, but it make a good song
I'm a woman, lord knows it's hard
I need a real man to give me what I need
Sweet attention, love and tenderness
When it's real it's unconditional, I'm telling y'all
Cause a man, just ain't a man,
If he aint' man enough
To love you when you're right,
Love you when you're wrong
Love you when you're weak,
Love you when you're strong
Take you higher
When the world got you feelin low.
He's given you his last, cuz he's thinking of you first
Given comfort when you're thinking that you're hurt
That's what's done when you really love someone
I'm telling y'all, I'm telling y'all.
Cause you're a real man and lord knows it's hard
Sometimes you just need a woman's touch
Sweet affection, love and support
When it's real, it's unconditional, I'm telling y'all
Sometimes you gonna argue
Sometimes you gonna fight
Sometimes it's gonna feel like it will never be right
But something so strong, keeps you holdin on
It don't make sense, but it make a good song
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
sweet and low
Anywhere you go, anyone you meet,
Remember that your eyes can be your enemies,
I said, well hell is so close
And heaven's out of reach
I ain't giving up quite yet,
I've got too much to lose
augustana
Remember that your eyes can be your enemies,
I said, well hell is so close
And heaven's out of reach
I ain't giving up quite yet,
I've got too much to lose
augustana
Monday, March 23, 2009
never really left
I've been told by a certain someone that I can't have only one post up at my blog. Not when it's filled with depressing goodbye quotes. Especially because I'm still here. See, I never actually said goodbye, because I knew I couldn't leave entirely. I wanted to. I was pretty fed up with some stuff and I needed a break. I will not go into details because most of you already know why I was upset. And if you don't? Well, let's just say it's not worth going into. It's over now. It's in the past. And I'm ready to move on. All I really needed was a little time.
I found this quote this morning because I was looking for something to post that was more uplifting than what I left you with. I couldn't really find anything exactly like what I was searching for.
“A blog is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.”
That makes sense, doesn't it? I think it does. And that's what I'm going to do. I still think that it's best that I keep the most important moments in my life private from prying eyes. And from now on, that's what I plan to do. If I have something along those lines to share, I'm sure I'll find some secret way of getting the word out.. I do it my ways.
I found this quote this morning because I was looking for something to post that was more uplifting than what I left you with. I couldn't really find anything exactly like what I was searching for.
“A blog is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.”
That makes sense, doesn't it? I think it does. And that's what I'm going to do. I still think that it's best that I keep the most important moments in my life private from prying eyes. And from now on, that's what I plan to do. If I have something along those lines to share, I'm sure I'll find some secret way of getting the word out.. I do it my ways.
busy for writing
Umm...sorry its been such a long time, i kinda forgot to write on the blog for the last 2 months :( But im now gonna update on all that in a few posts and try and keep it a bit more up to date.
p/S -> I MISS YOU GUYSS * hugs hugs *
p/S -> I MISS YOU GUYSS * hugs hugs *
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
My life is good
My life is good. I mean, I have a plan, I have goals, I have dreams.
And yeah, I don't have someone to argue with, or someone who loves me for me, hell!
But, overall, my life is good. I have a great job . And I have good friends.
I'm, you know, happy.
Some people have been bothering me about finding someone, and when my friends talk to me about issues in their relationships, I get frustrated, but secretly depressed...but not like in a, "I hate my life," kind of why...mostly its just this deep sadness in my heart. Of course I want to find someone who at least wants me, and I want all those things that come with a relationship, but I'm willing to wait. I don't see why I have to rush it.
And yeah, I don't have someone to argue with, or someone who loves me for me, hell!
But, overall, my life is good. I have a great job . And I have good friends.
I'm, you know, happy.
Some people have been bothering me about finding someone, and when my friends talk to me about issues in their relationships, I get frustrated, but secretly depressed...but not like in a, "I hate my life," kind of why...mostly its just this deep sadness in my heart. Of course I want to find someone who at least wants me, and I want all those things that come with a relationship, but I'm willing to wait. I don't see why I have to rush it.
I'm Not..
I'm not wise,
But I can share what is in my heart in the hope that you will be touched.
I'm not beautiful,
But I can show you my soul in the hope that you will find something worthy deep within.
I'm not wealthy,
But I am more than willing to share what I have in the hope that it will benefit you.
I'm not sophisticated,
But I can make faces and tell funny stories in the hope that it will brighten your day.
I'm not intellectual,
But I can offer a soft shoulder and an open mind and heart in the hope of providing you solace.
I'm not perfect,
But I can strive to be the perfect me in the hope that you will take my hand and be my friend.
But I can share what is in my heart in the hope that you will be touched.
I'm not beautiful,
But I can show you my soul in the hope that you will find something worthy deep within.
I'm not wealthy,
But I am more than willing to share what I have in the hope that it will benefit you.
I'm not sophisticated,
But I can make faces and tell funny stories in the hope that it will brighten your day.
I'm not intellectual,
But I can offer a soft shoulder and an open mind and heart in the hope of providing you solace.
I'm not perfect,
But I can strive to be the perfect me in the hope that you will take my hand and be my friend.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
what makes me happy
Surprised because it actually reminded me of the importance of simplicity in one's life. It also made me realize that it is actually very simple to be happy. Read on.. you might be surprised for the same reasons.
What makes me happy....
My friends ask me,
What makes me so happy,
I always ignore this question,
And start surfing on my lappy. (lol)
But today i feel that there's a point in what they ask,
I wonder if its really me or do I always wear a mask?!
I love movies
I love to listen music
I am the happiest one when im with someone i LOVE
I laugh a lot
I enjoy everytime im chilling with my dear friends
I play a lot,
But study as well,
I work hard on my Job
I don't hate anyone coz i believe in karma
I don't feel jealous coz i know everyone got they own speciality
i thank God for this,
and simply mind my own business!
Then they ask me,
What special do I do,
Then i say, I love to make my friends HAppy.
What makes me happy....
My friends ask me,
What makes me so happy,
I always ignore this question,
And start surfing on my lappy. (lol)
But today i feel that there's a point in what they ask,
I wonder if its really me or do I always wear a mask?!
I love movies
I love to listen music
I am the happiest one when im with someone i LOVE
I laugh a lot
I enjoy everytime im chilling with my dear friends
I play a lot,
But study as well,
I work hard on my Job
I don't hate anyone coz i believe in karma
I don't feel jealous coz i know everyone got they own speciality
i thank God for this,
and simply mind my own business!
Then they ask me,
What special do I do,
Then i say, I love to make my friends HAppy.
who am i
I am love.
Love for those who I call family.. who surround me with unconditional support and protection.
Love for those who I call friends.. who help me get from one day to next.. the ones I've met in real life and the ones I only know from their words.
Love for the one who I call mine.. to whom I devote my days.. who has brought joy and meaning to my life and shown me just how wonderful it can be.
Love for all those who need it but are too distracted from themselves to perceive it.
Love for all that lives.. because we are co-dependent and bound by our lifetime.
Love for the world.
Love for life.
Love for the god that is within me.
Love for myself.
I am made of love.. and any action other than that of love chips away on that.. so I will not allow any negative emotion or act to get between me and my substance.. love.
Love for those who I call family.. who surround me with unconditional support and protection.
Love for those who I call friends.. who help me get from one day to next.. the ones I've met in real life and the ones I only know from their words.
Love for the one who I call mine.. to whom I devote my days.. who has brought joy and meaning to my life and shown me just how wonderful it can be.
Love for all those who need it but are too distracted from themselves to perceive it.
Love for all that lives.. because we are co-dependent and bound by our lifetime.
Love for the world.
Love for life.
Love for the god that is within me.
Love for myself.
I am made of love.. and any action other than that of love chips away on that.. so I will not allow any negative emotion or act to get between me and my substance.. love.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
always remembered
Couldn't even think straight
didn't want to believe what they where saying
knowing you i didn't want it to be true
never thought We would lose you
you my friend
for you have gone to a better place
heaven has gained to most wonderful angel
watch over us and wait for us to come
and we will meet again
MY FRIENDS FOR ETERNITY
in momory of Molly's 3-1-2009
didn't want to believe what they where saying
knowing you i didn't want it to be true
never thought We would lose you
you my friend
for you have gone to a better place
heaven has gained to most wonderful angel
watch over us and wait for us to come
and we will meet again
MY FRIENDS FOR ETERNITY
in momory of Molly's 3-1-2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Bedtime Story Vs Ip Man
Lately I have spend a Super quality time with my family with my beloved siblings, cousin and of coz my parents as well Christmas dinner, new year eve dinner apart of my dear friends, Outing together with my aunty and uncle and last but not least watching movies together with them. After watch my early New Year movie which is Bedtime story by Adam Sandler and Ip man by Donnie Yen. I find Ip Man is more fascinated to me. To be truthful It is a tough decision and after a long while when my parents ask me to watch, I finally makes the choice of watching Ip Man.
Here some of my opinion for those who not watch the movie yet. The director of Dragon Tiger Gate makes his comeback with his usual star, Donnie Yen. As expected, the martial arts fighting scenes are amazing. He knows how to direct realistic martial arts fighting features in Dragon Tiger Gate. This guy can create, I can say, some of best martial arts movies.
It tells about Ip Man's life, the soon-to-be master of the well-known Bruce Lee. I can't say much about the plot but the fighting and the music are great. The Japanese soon attacks China which affects Ip Man and his family. Soon, he goes for a fight, organized by the Japanese, which can earn him rice. The Japanese General is impressed by his ability which leads to the final battle of all. It is fast paced with amazing fights in between and humor.
If you are a martial arts movie admirer, this is definitely stunning and not to be missed. If you get entertained by any form of action and want to know the facts of Bruce Lee's master, this should also not be missed. Another good martial arts movie and I DON’T MIND TO WATCH IT FOR 2nd TIME hehehe…
Here some of my opinion for those who not watch the movie yet. The director of Dragon Tiger Gate makes his comeback with his usual star, Donnie Yen. As expected, the martial arts fighting scenes are amazing. He knows how to direct realistic martial arts fighting features in Dragon Tiger Gate. This guy can create, I can say, some of best martial arts movies.
It tells about Ip Man's life, the soon-to-be master of the well-known Bruce Lee. I can't say much about the plot but the fighting and the music are great. The Japanese soon attacks China which affects Ip Man and his family. Soon, he goes for a fight, organized by the Japanese, which can earn him rice. The Japanese General is impressed by his ability which leads to the final battle of all. It is fast paced with amazing fights in between and humor.
If you are a martial arts movie admirer, this is definitely stunning and not to be missed. If you get entertained by any form of action and want to know the facts of Bruce Lee's master, this should also not be missed. Another good martial arts movie and I DON’T MIND TO WATCH IT FOR 2nd TIME hehehe…
My New Resolution 2009
I know that other people have already posted stuff like this and it's very natural that everyone has the same idea! This is the first time I've put them up somewhere public so maybe if I see them again I'll remember to do them?!
Every year, we have a lot of expectations and New Year resolutions. To tell u the truth i had broken resolutions myself but also, every year I try to fix the mistakes I had on the past years.
Some of these are serious and some of them are more superficial......but I will just write them all down anyways!
*No smoking and no Liquors. ( Compulsory)
*Take medication on time…INr under target (2.5-3.5)
*Sleep Less with the exception of tired ( 7-8 hours)
*Eat more, to put up more weight ( target 3-4kg)
*Study study study. No more fail ( target 2.8-3.2)
*Keep develop on career (upgrading)
*Stand up for myself more! ( Speak Up more Ideas/opinion)
*Possibly I should write more blogs?? (3-4 times a week)
*Constantly think positive and never simply piss-off ( stay cool)
*Savings ( Less Shopping)
*Expend more superiority time with parents. ( More Dinner at home)
* Relationship? (No comment)
New year resolutions doesn’t really have to control over our lives, these are just statements w/c motivates us to change our self and be a better person. And it will feel really good once we have done our resolution. Although I haven’t done mine, its still in process.
*Positive changes can happen at any time, even if it's not a resolution.......
Every year, we have a lot of expectations and New Year resolutions. To tell u the truth i had broken resolutions myself but also, every year I try to fix the mistakes I had on the past years.
Some of these are serious and some of them are more superficial......but I will just write them all down anyways!
*No smoking and no Liquors. ( Compulsory)
*Take medication on time…INr under target (2.5-3.5)
*Sleep Less with the exception of tired ( 7-8 hours)
*Eat more, to put up more weight ( target 3-4kg)
*Study study study. No more fail ( target 2.8-3.2)
*Keep develop on career (upgrading)
*Stand up for myself more! ( Speak Up more Ideas/opinion)
*Possibly I should write more blogs?? (3-4 times a week)
*Constantly think positive and never simply piss-off ( stay cool)
*Savings ( Less Shopping)
*Expend more superiority time with parents. ( More Dinner at home)
* Relationship? (No comment)
New year resolutions doesn’t really have to control over our lives, these are just statements w/c motivates us to change our self and be a better person. And it will feel really good once we have done our resolution. Although I haven’t done mine, its still in process.
*Positive changes can happen at any time, even if it's not a resolution.......
Thoughts of 2009.
Well, here i am...my 1st blog on year 2009... Didn’t write for so long I presume.
Here marks one of the text that I received from my buddy (u know who u are ;>) which is inspired to me as a guide for these years to come.
• 2009 a new starting point. What happened in 2008 prepared us for what might come in 2009, so that we won’t repeat the same mistake all over again. It helps us to be a better person, who knows what awaits us in the year 2009. We can only hope for the best by doing the best. Closing chapter in 2008 is not going to be easy. But that something we have to deal with a stronger spirit. Past is past, there is nothing we can’t change it. So we need to move on and take is as a lesson in time. **End 2008 01.01.09 4.05a.m.
Here marks one of the text that I received from my buddy (u know who u are ;>) which is inspired to me as a guide for these years to come.
• 2009 a new starting point. What happened in 2008 prepared us for what might come in 2009, so that we won’t repeat the same mistake all over again. It helps us to be a better person, who knows what awaits us in the year 2009. We can only hope for the best by doing the best. Closing chapter in 2008 is not going to be easy. But that something we have to deal with a stronger spirit. Past is past, there is nothing we can’t change it. So we need to move on and take is as a lesson in time. **End 2008 01.01.09 4.05a.m.
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