perhaps i expect too much

I am one of those people that others come to for advice. I'm a good listener. I pay attention. I empathize. I'm there when the chips are down. I'm a good friend because I want to be.

There are times when I need someone to listen to me. But, I seem to have surrounded myself with people who keep their minds narrowly focused on their own lives. When I try to speak of what is hurting me, the subject gets changed or I'm told I shouldn't feel that way. So, I swallow hard and tamp it a little farther down into my soul. I get the message loud and clear. My problems don't mean much to my so called friends.

I brushed off the comment with something humorous. That's how I cope. It's better to laugh than cry. The crying can be done in private.

It's so overwhelming when I see people feel so sorry for me but don't offer their friendship. Perhaps I expect too much.

get up and punch again?

i could feel the pain when i type. it's tolerable but i could still the pain...
that's what my life is going on right now. i feel pain but i could still tolerate it...
i'm on the right direction to my goal but like everything that happens to my life there's always something to stop me to reach that goal and today i just had those days where i want to give up about it.
i know this may just sound a useless rant but i'm doing something big in my life right now. a decision i made that i know will forever change my life.
it just sucks that it's not going the way i wanted to. there might be even a chance that this decision will not happen... so what's point of doing it? i keep asking that question today...
because i'm doing this for me...this is for my own personal happiness...
that's why i'm doing it...if there's one thing i'm learning through this is that if you want to be happy, then you have to work for it. you don't need others to make that decision for you. you don't need others to make that happiness a reality.
and now i'm working hard for it...
i just wish i was given an opportunity to make this decision a reality...
but someone told me. hey you're not special...so don't expect everything to be easy...
i'm not...but i know i will be...by working hard to get what i want. by working hard to make my dreams a reality....and then i know that i am special...because i did it on my own...today, life keeps knockin me down...too bad i always get up and punch again... :-)WISH ME LUCK!