step outside the box

Have you ever got to a point in your life where you were scared to do something because that goes outside of "comfortable"? You think or dream of something you want to do... take a vacation, ask a person out, break up with the person you're with, or just plain do something different with your life. But for some reason it never goes beyond a thought or a day dream; all because you've gotten so comfortable with the way your life is now, that you don't want to risk changing it for the better.

Now let me clarify that there are two types of comfortable. There is the comfortable where "you are happpy with where your life is at and the goals that your life is heading toward", that is the good comfortable. Then there is the "I'm not really happy with where my life is at or where it's going, but it's still a good life to have and I don't want to risk losing it", thats the bad comfortable.

When did we start living a life that someone else would want, and stop living for the life that we have wanted our whole lives? Life is not about being comfortable, because comfortable leads to complacency, and complacency leads to taking the things in your life for granted. Once you start taking things for granted, you lose that natural instinct to live life to its fullest.

You do the same things every day, day in and day out, not because you want to but because you dont know how to travel outside of "your box". I understand that not everyone can be bold, and go after the things they want in life, or pursue something different because of fear. Fear of failing, fear of losing people that don't agree with your choices, and fear of being disappointed if you don't find what you are looking for.

To those people I say this...if you never try, you will always wonder. Life is about failure, but it's how far you bounce back from that failure that measures your worth. You might fail a hundred times before you find what you are looking for...but actually finding what completes you far outweighs any heartbreak you would of endured along the way. There is pain, suffering, and hardships along the broken road, but it leads to a place filled with happiness, love, and laughter. You will lose the people you thought were your friends, but you will gain totally devoted ones in return. You might leave behind a life that's not for you in search for one that is, and in the end you just might find what you are looking for.

It's not the end that is important, it's how you get there. We will all end up in a casket someday, it may be tomorrow, or it may be 70 years from now; but how you get there is up to you. Do you want to arrive at that casket safe, unscratched, and comfortable saying "I wish I had done more"...or do you want to slide in head first, scarred and broken from life screaming "that was one hell of a ride"? And who would you rather have at that funeral... the hundreds of people that don't know you...or the handful of ones that truly do?

Live life for today and not for tomorrow. Pursue the things in life you want and don't become complacent with the things you have. Love the ones that need your love in return and forget about the ones that don't. And above all have a great time doing it!!

let it be..

another Song By The Beatles to be inspired...

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

changes

It's funny how much things change. It's funny how much people change. In my life change always seems to be drastic and unexpected. While those types of change are hard to handle at the time, they are apparent, and therefore can be dealt with in a more logical way.

The changes that I've noticed lately are so diminutive and gradual you don't even realize they are occurring until you look at their result on your life over a long period of time. People come into your life and influence you, and you in turn influence others. All these things change who we are. The person who was your best friend in high school may now be a completely different person than you knew then.

It's almost sad to me. Why can't we hold on to what's dear to us? It's like we don't have any choice in the matter. Things change, people change, and that's just the way it is. Every little thing we do, every person we come in contact with changes us in some small way. Every experience combined is the sum of who we are. It's scary that the small choices we make now can have such a large effect on our future.

I remember being 15 and thinking I was grown...thinking I knew everything. I look back on those years and I know how naive I was. I am so different now than I was then, and I'm only 25. What will I be like in 8 more years? The possibilities are vastly overwhelming. I just hope that I can hold on to what gives me a sense of self... what i believe in, my family, and my friends who are my strength.

love

Love is a glorious feeling and a pain
Love is letting go and longing
Love is a mistake which you believe is right
Love is right but it made you wanted to die
Why is strenght but made you wanted to die
Why love is so complicated?
im confused and cant comprehend
why i cant have the love i wanted??

dont judge me

Please don't judge me by my face
By my friends or what you hear
Please don't laugh at what I wear
Or how I look or do my hair
Please look deep inside of me
And although you may not see it
I have a lot to hide.
Behind my clothes, the secrets lie
Behind my smile, I softly cry.
Please look deep inside,
And maybe you will find
The lonely girl that lives in me
Please listen carefully to her
She'll show that she is insecure
Please try to be a friend to her
And maybe you will see,
That if you just look deep enough
You'll find the real me.

the books of our lives

I know we have all had the times where life seems to pile things onto an already heavy load. The times where our legs seem so tired that we are about to fall face first into the dirt. Well when you are at these trying times, ask yourself what is it all for, why are you doing this?

For me it's my faith... the faith that my dreams are about to come true. The faith that a life lasting love is in my future. How can it seem like the wicked go unpunished while the good are tried and tried again? We all have our demons that we battle, some of us battle more often than others. So whether it be faith, the lord, or a loved one, we all must find our strength and keep it close to our hearts. For it will be this strength that gets you through these battles. Because life is anything but fair, and often times it can be downright mean. But when you are in that darkness, there is light even though it cannot be seen.

There is a purpose to life like a moral to the children's book of life. Although we cannot read these pages or skip to the end to see what happens, as characters in this book of life we can continue to move forward. We can continue to brush ourselves off, find our strength in times of need, and march through those pages toward our moral in life. For each of our own stories are being read at this very moment, our pages are being turned, as we move through the experiences of our book to a moral in our own personal story. Granted that some of us are in the chapters of heartbreak and loneliness, while others are in the chapters of love and happiness, we all are on a journey.

But if you fail to brush yourself off while face first in that dirt, if you take that deep breath in defeat, our story is not a story at all... but merely ideas that never made it to the library of life!

are you happy??

Are you happy with what you're doing? Are you happy with your life? Are you happy with your career? It's so much easier and enjoyable to work, if you work with passion - that is if you really love what you're doing. You're giddy and excited when you're with the one you're in love - same thing with work.

Watch or read Pursuit of Happiness to be inspired! It will really make you happy.

friends

I've been thinking about friendship a lot today. How many true friends are you really ever going to have at one time, much less throughout your entire life? Probably not many. There are very few people...I mean like 2 maybe 3...that I would do anything for and that know everything about me. Not that I don't have a lot of people I call my friends and hang out with, but true friends are few and far between. I'm sure we've all been talked about, stabbed in the back, and had our feelings hurt by those who we thought we could trust. I know I have. As corny as it sounds, make sure you treat your friends the way you want to be treated. I am constantly amazed at how much small gestures mean to a friend in need. If a friend calls you at 3 am, or any time of the day for that matter, answer the phone. They may need you the most at that moment, and trust me they will remember that you were there for them. I just feel like if I'm a good friend, my friends will reciprocate that and my life will be a much happier place to live. My friends are my life...I would do anything for them and I know some of them would do anything for me. I cherish every memory I have with my friends because one day they might not be around and the memories will be all I have left. How will my friends remember me? Hopefully they will say I was always there...

i cant find the words.....

I can't seem to find the words to write anything. So I will write nothing. Or next to nothing. I have lost all my desire to write. I'm not sure why, but I have.

I'm in a troubled place right now in my life, I need help (as the song says), and am just unsure where to look for it. I've thought many times about leaving this place, thinking it would be easier. But each time I realized that leaving this place would change the person who I am.




HELP..
(McCartney/Lennon)
Recorded Live: August 1, 1965, ABC Theatre, Blackpool

Help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody,
help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down,
and I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
won't you please, please, help me.

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
my independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down,
and I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
won't you please, please, help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these daya are gone, I'm not so self assured,
now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down,
and I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
won't you please, please, help me, help me, help me, oh.

Escape...

Another Farewell PArty....

Josh , Yvone And Kevin
nailyn..im gonna miss you!!

ugly me wif kevin, yvone, tims, Ak

my friends

why!

I guess I've been thinking way too much lately. I want more in my life.

I'm tired of the way things keep going. Why is everything happening to me... and all at once? I'm tired of it! Really tired of it! When will it be my chance for something good to happen?

I feel like, I'm alone. I have nobody 'here'. I'm scared to get close to people because I don't want to be hurt again, and I'm afraid of rejection. I don't know what to do at times and I feel like there is nothing I can do. I feel hopeless and helpless.

Why this sudden mood? I have no idea! I just wish I could understand myself again...

i dont love you...

Looking at the reflection in the mirror

Looking at the reflection in the mirror, I ponder for a moment. Remembering times when life was far more complex and much less difficult. Wondering if I will gain control of who I am, what I stand for and my future?

My happiness depends on myself and myself only. I feel as though I have an idea of what that might compel. However I have not the slightest idea of what it will take to really get there. Things can seem so out of reach sometimes. I'm just trying day by day to get a little further, jumping hurdles and working my way through the obstacles that are laid out in front of me. I seem to be getting very good at dodging what life is throwing at me though.

As I continue to stare at my reflection, I notice something. I'm jaded, it is written all over my face and there is no denying that I have neglected myself. Taking all the time in the world to please everyone around me, I have simply pushed myself to the side and left no time to tend to me. I seem to be spinning in circles trying to make sense of what is twirling around me. It is all moving too fast, I find it hard grasp on to anything when it is flying by me at the speed of light. The reflection staring back at me is clearly trying to tell me something. It is just a matter of figuring it all out.

Life seems much more complicated these days, far more than it ever has before. I find myself second guessing who I really am and what it is I want out of my life. But I am surely working on it. And as I stare deeper into the face looking back at me, I realize I am a lot stronger than I put off. And with that strength I will make it through anything. I know what my boundaries are and I carry my values and self-respect with me no matter where I go. I have grown to be independent and strong willed. I just have to let go of my insecurities and fears to allow myself to become who I want to be.

???

Being a hopeless romantic at heart, I often think about different aspects of relationships. I consider myself one of the rare few who has found the one person she/he was meant to spend forever with. But I wonder about those couples who don't have that deep soul mate bond. How close are they? Does your significant other really miss you when you're away, or are they fairly independent from you? For true love to be there, I believe that you need to miss the other person in order for your love to grow stronger.
So, here's my question..... What is your significant other thinking when you're apart? Is he/she too caught up in their own life to care, or does the separation drive them even further into your arms?

my pain

there is nothing but pain in life,
life is everything pain
i cant live without
why do we have it
you wonder because
if we didnt have pain
then that would not
make us who we are
but maybe who we are is not who we want to be
i know i never expected my life turn out this way
these are times when i want end everything and MAYBE
one day i will finally
take that razor for the last time
and slide it across my wrists and end the pain
and then i can watch everyone from above
that way i wont cause anymore pain
for my family and friends... MAYBE

i am for wat i am !!

"I AM WHAT I AM! I be what i wanna be,..I am STRICT, to other jurisdiction, opinion, and thoughts, I can be WILD whenever I wanna be, I tend to HATE myself,..but often thinking twice for my future,..COMMITMENT is killing me, but I kinda like it,..Coz I know, life is PRICELESS, for me to buy a new one! I HATE THIS and THAT,..WHY? Because it change me into sumbody that i dont wanna be,...This is so not me when it comes to a matter of heart? I rather use my brain than using my heart to live in this f**king world,..My BRAIN is my greatest aset,...SO BE IT!!!"

i'll be OK!!

When everything is going wrong And things are just a little strange its been so long now You've forgotten how to smile.And overhead the skies are clear But it still seems to rain on you,And your only friends all have Better things to do.

When you're down and lost And you need a helping hand When you're down and lost Along the way,Oh, just tell yourselfAh, I'll be OK

Now things are only getting worse And you need someone to take the blame When your lover's gone There's no-one to share the pain,You're sleeping with the TV on And All the alcohol in the world Would never help me to forget

out of reach...

Knew the signs Wasn't rightI was stupid for a while Swept away by you And now i feel like a fool So confused,My hearts brused Was i ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so farI never had your heart Out of reach,Couldn't see We were never meant to be Catch myself From despair I could drown If i stay here Keeping busy everyday I know i will be ok But i was S o confused,My hearts brused Was i ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far never had your heart Out of reach Couldn't see We were never meant to be So much hurt,So much pain Takes A while to regain What is lost, inside And i hope that in time you'll be out of my mind And i'll be over you. But now i'm So confused,My hearts brused Was i ever loved by you? i can see Theres a life out there For me.

words of the day

Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.